Wanting to die
by EmilyArtypants
Summary: This is what might have happened after the explosion at blackrock castle if people didn't respawn. Zoey, Rythian, Teep and Duncan are all in here under different names (Zoey is Amanda, Rythian is Kevin, Teep is Art and Duncan is Ray).
1. Prologue

"Amanda!" Kevin's voice echoed through the ruins of what had been their home less than an hour before. He called out again, "AMANDA!" Kevin fell on his knees in the ashes. It was his fault. He'd let Amanda stay behind. She'd been so sure she could fix it, but he should have stopped her. He hadn't even said goodbye...

"AMANDA!" He couldn't leave. That would mean admitting that she was dead, that he'd let her die. Someone touched Kevin's shoulder, and he spun around, expecting to see Amanda's red hair and hear her voice, to know that everything was alright..

Only it wasn't her. It was Art, Kevin's mute friend, gesturing that they should go. Kevin jerked his shoulder out of Art's grasp, the tears streaming down his face. He sat there for a long time, the wreckage still burning around him, hating himself for letting Amanda die.


	2. Chapter 1

Kevin knew he was crazy. He had been since that night, over a year ago, when Amanda had bid him and Art a cheerful "See you later!" and gone off to fix their problem by herself, when the sound of the explosion had reached him over a kilometer away.

He and Art had lived in the forest since then, and with nothing but the silent Art and his own thoughts for company, Kevin had quickly started to hallucinate. Art did his best to keep both of them alive, but Kevin had barely eaten since the explosion and constantly woke up screaming during the night. Kevin spent most of his time following Art around, but too often he'd scream, or start crying, and try to run from something only he could see.

Kevin had good days and bad days. On good days, Art got him to go outside, or maybe eat a decent meal for once. On bad days, it was all Art could do to keep Kevin from killing himself.

Today was a good day, however, and Art took Kevin outside. They walked through the trees, Art pointing out things like birds that Kevin wouldn't notice otherwise. It was going well. Then Kevin had come out of the trees into a swamp, and on the ground in front of Kevin's feet was a red mushroom.

Kevin stepped back as if he'd been hit and started to sob: Amanda had loved mushrooms. As Art guided him back towards their house, Kevin saw a flash of red hair. Amanda! He ran towards her, but he suddenly stopped. She shouted at him "**You killed me! You left me to die like I didn't matter!"**

Art saw Kevin cover his ears. He was hallucinating again. Art managed to get Kevin back to their house, with some difficulty, then he sat and watched Kevin. If, when, Kevin recovered Art knew he'd be grateful. In the meantime, Art had to keep them both alive. Kevin cried for a while longer, then fell into a nightmare-wracked sleep.


	3. Chapter 2

Art woke up in the middle of the night with a vague, uneasy feeling. That didn't make sense, everything should be -_Kevin wasn't there!_ Art got up immediately; 99 times out of a hundred, that meant that Kevin was trying to kill himself, and it was only thanks to sheer luck that he hadn't succeeded yet.

He ran outside to see Kevin standing there, holding Art's sword. He was shaking, although with grief or rage, Art couldn't tell. "**Yes, I killed her!" **Kevin's hallucination said "**And what are **_**you**_ **going to do about it?"** Kevin barely managed a coherent sentence; "I- I'll KILL YOU!" The hallucination of Ray, the scientist who had planted the bomb that had killed Amanda, laughed as the sword passed right through him.

Art carefully approached Kevin as he slashed at empty air, but somehow Kevin's hallucination and real life merged and Art barely stepped back in time to avoid his own sword. The insane laughter rang in Kevin's ears as he tried more and more desperately to kill Ray. "**Come and get me!"** the scientist taunted "**Come and get me!"**

Art leapt forward and knocked kevin to the ground, struggling to take control of the sword. Kevin fought Art with all his strength, even when Art's sword went skittering away. Art realized it would be impossible to get Kevin inside with him struggling like this and, with a sigh, banged Kevin's head against the ground. Art wished there were more options than knocking his friend unconscious, but there didn't seem to be many at all.


	4. Chapter 3

A few weeks later, Kevin had another good day. Art took him out again, this time carefully avoiding the swamp. They were walking through the trees, and Art was praying to whatever deity that would listen that nothing would happen, when Kevin stopped. He'd thought he'd seen a flash of white among the trees... like the labcoat a certain murdering scientist would wear!

Art chased after him as he ran through the trees, following something that may or may not have been there. Kevin stopped when the trees ended, looking around with a violent expression on his face. The villagers paid no attention when Art ran up, out of breath, or when Kevin yelled. kevin walked through the village, not knowing what he expected to find but knowing he'd found it when he walked into the town square.

Art saw the Nether portal and instinctively grabbed Kevin's shoulders, but he was unbelievably strong for someone who had barely eaten in over a year. "**Come and get me!"** The taunt echoed in Kevin's mind along with the maniacal laughter that tortured him every night. He threw Art off and dashed through the obsidian door that lead to a world of fire.

Art wished -not for the first time- that he weren't mute, simply so he could swear as he too walked into the purple mist. He stumbled out of the portal just in time to see Kevin jump over the side of a ledge and disappear from view.

Art ran to the edge, wishing again for the ability to curse, and peered over, expecting to see Kevin burning in lava, finally getting _his_ wish to die. Art blinked in surprise: there was no lava. Far below he could see Kevin, who hadn't even died of fall damage.

Art jumped, wincing as he lost several hearts. Kevin was already back on his feet and he snarled; "Only _science_ could do this." In Kevin's mind, science meant Ray.

Kevin walked across the empty lava basin, Art close behind. The two of them climbed up the far side and kept going. Kevin was breathing hard, as if he'd been fighting, and Art hoped he wouldn't kill Ray too quickly; Art had a few things he wanted to say (okay, do) himself.

Suddenly they both stopped. Ahead of them, a figure in a white lab coat was happily tinkering with a pump. He hummed a CaptainSparklez tune to himself as he made the final adjustments.

Then Ray turned around and saw his life flash before his eyes.


	5. Chapter 4

Art grabbed Kevin by his shoulders as the smile slid off Ray's face. Kevin fought, but Art held him back just as hard, wondering whether he should be saving Amanda's killer's life. "WHY?!" Kevin's yell echoed around the Nether as Ray backed up against his pump, trying to get away.

Art gave him a look that said clearly: Get the answer right or I'll let go. Ray's face was white as he stammered "Uh- S- Sorry?"

Wrong answer, thought Art, and he let Kevin go. The little colour in Ray's face left it, but he grabbed Kevin by his wrists and slammed him against the pump. Art saw Kevin gasping for air and started towards Ray himself. Ray tried to use the same move on him, but he miscalculated and Art went over the side of the ledge and into the lava.

Kevin staggered to his feet. Ray had killed both of his friends and still stood there like it was no big deal! Ray raised his hands in front of his face, "S- Self-defense!" he stammered, but Kevin didn't listen.

Ray went into the lava just like Art had, and Kevin heard the scream he'd been looking forward to hearing for a long time. But now he'd heard it. All the energy left Kevin's body. He had no regrets for killing Ray, but as the obsession, his insanity, left him, so did all that kept him going. Kevin closed his eyes; he was so tired that he didn't even feel it when he died.


	6. Epilogue

Kevin opened his eyes again; he was on a super flat world that was white as far as the eye could see, but not with snow. He heard a voice, a voice he thought he would never hear again; "Kevin!" Amanda said again.

He ran towards her, but at the last minute, he stopped. He was too afraid that all this was just another hallucination; that he would reach out to Amanda only to find his hands pass right through her.

"Are you... real?" He managed to ask, hardly daring to hope that the answer would be yes, that they could be together again...

"No." Amanda said. Kevin's shoulders hunched forward; he was right. This was all his imagination. But then Amanda said something else: "But neither are you, so I'd say we're about equal." She put her arm around Kevin and he returned the hug, finally believing that it could really happen. He was crying again, but this time it was because he was happy; he could once again be with the girl he thought he'd lost forever.


End file.
